My doctor got ahead of herself one month and gave me my ADD script two weeks in advance. For two weeks I had to hold on to “prescription gold” and not lose it. I checked my purse about 10 times a day and it all started with a "ghhhasp... where's my script?!?!?! Ah, exactly where I left it 10 minutes ago."
The reasoning for the “ghhhasp” follows a sound line of ADHD logic: your doctor has handed you a permission slip clearing you to take highly regulated meds. You don't want to lose your valuable permission slip for speed because it turns out you need it, you want to look like you can handle this error responsibly and non-addictively, AND if you do lose it then bad things will happen. To name a few: You could look bad to Dr. Prescriber; Dr. Prescriber might think you are selling it and therefore not using it as directed; you will not get your daily fix; people may start to realize what they already suspect… that you are indeed crazy. All of this because it was honestly lost in your cluster-f**k of thoughts and actions! It’s not fair that Dr. Prescriber may think that you are not being honest about the drugs when really it was their fault for putting you (a highly medicated and crazy person) in this situation!
By the way… feel guilty about all this because you neglect to inform yourself that you are not asking for an advance on your medication, but for Dr. Prescriber to put the dadgum over zealous pen & pad down and just wait until your next appointment to write the script. OOH, but then she may notice that you have not been taking them regularly. (See how cyclical this is getting!) Also, shouldn’t you be talking about this with her anyways? She is your shrink after all!...
And then, because you have ADD, the accidental Dr. Prescriber imposed when-script-was-written-to-when-script-can-be-filled two week lag time turns into a three week prescription written-to-refill "lay-over" because you didn’t want to take some of your pills on a few weekends (you wanted to sleep) and you had a few extra left over. Here’s where it gets sticky, if it hasn’t already…
You went to Trinidad & Tobago for a week, came back, got sick, and then got better. You now need the meds because you have to go to work. Off you go to find your golden ticket to workplace efficiency when you notice that the filled-on-date of your last refill is 8/10/10 and your amphetamine was prescribed to you on 8/9/10. It is 9/15/10. You contemplate fudging a 1 in front of the 9 but you are pretty sure that they will catch you if you do. Dangit, you have amazingly and resourcefully (congrats) managed this hiccup in life to where you are getting your script 1 full month ahead of when you really need to refill it and then you actually can't refill it (because 1 month is the longest the FDA will let you forgo your claim on amphetamines) and you think... "How the HELL do I explain this to my doctor?!?!" But wait a tic! A silver lining appears as you realize, as you often do, that your reality is not ‘true’ reality… because in ‘true’ reality it's technically time to refill it again!!!
You pick up the phone to call Dr. Prescriber while trying to ignore the nagging fear of rejection and discovery that’s running down your spine. “Hello?” …work up courage… “Hey! It’s me, I’m back from vacation and it’s time for a refill!” Dr. Prescriber says “Great, it’ll be ready at the front desk for you this afternoon!”
And NOW after a year, you are back on schedule and no one is the wiser. Hah, I fooled you Dr. Prescriber, I fooled you.
Victory
No comments:
Post a Comment